Saturday, October 2, 2010

It'll all make sense one day...

I was leafing through a journal of mine just a few hours ago (I have been writing letters to God since I was 13). I came across an entry that really impressed me, considering how life has come to unfold. I wrote this just a couple of months before leaving Mexico and moving to the United Sates:

April 10, 2008

I hung up the phone and started to cry. I don't know how many times this has repeated itself. I'm looking for a school for Katy, and once again, they rejected her before they even saw her.

"Special child," they label her. It hurts me so bad that they stick her in this category, and to add sting to the wound, they reject her without any consideration. And here I've been so proud of her and all her accomplishments! I have been so marvelled by her quick development. Nevertheless, they who have not lived even one minute with her- label and reject her.

I didn't want this for my baby!

But her doctor said something that is very true: better they be honest with me than lie and then not take propper care of my daughter. So, five minutes ago one more
school rejected Katy.

"We can only accept two special kids per class and we're full," the principal said.

I thanked her for her honesty, hung up and found a corner to cry.

(God) I ask you for a perfect place for Katy. Until that occurs, I am going to assume that the best teacher for Katy is me. That the best education she can recieve is the one she gets at home. That her needs are met right here.

Give me wisdom to seize every moment with her and give her and education specifically designed from heaven for her. You (God) design her curriculum, because only You know her completely- from past, to present, to future. Nobody knows the secrets to her mind better than you.

Teach me those secrets, and make me the best teacher in the world for my daughter.

For those of you who dont know it, in the last two years I have had a carreer change. I used to work all areas of communication (focusing heavily on television), but two years ago I became a teacher aide in a special education unit. The very same unit which my daughter assisted. I didnt seek this out. The position litterally found me. I was requested.

During the summer, I took the necessary exams to become special ed certified. I am now a special education teacher in a different school, but Katy has come along- and I am her teacher.

It is interesting how God orchestrates our life- if we let Him.


Anonymous said...

I understand you are a crazy busy lady with work and a hubby and a cute little kid, but PLEASE blog more? I LOVE your blog posts. I've been reading you FOREVER! And I check in about once a week or so.
Please blog more? pretty please? Or vlog. I live for your vlogs. They're so freaking FUNNY!!! )
Look at that. You have a blog groupie. ME!
Clearly I need to go to bed now. Sheesh!
From a crazy (waiting) blog fan in Canada!!!!

michelle hays said...

wow, anonymous. Im so flattered! Thanks so much. I feel like I just post to the four winds for no reason at all. Still, its a nice vent to have available. Your comment made my day!!!

Busy Momma said...

I just recently found you. Was a matter of some random website with one of your vlogs attached to it. Then on to youtube and then found your blog. I don't know why (ok maybe I do), but it's all been so touching. Even the funny things. I watched the video of you and Katy dancing to a child's CD and wanted to cry. You guys looked so happy. I'm looking forward to catching up and following along.