Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Dear Doctor,

I remember how I felt finding out about how serious Katy's neurological condition was. I was terrified. Katy was only one year old and it was hard to believe that she would not develop normally. I can recall asking every physician involved with Katy about their opinion concerning her future.

"She struggles with sitting right now, but that's only temporary, right?" I once asked her physical therapist. "You can never tell," she answered "all we can do is treat the child and wait."

I couldn't believe that a physical therapist could not know whether or not my daughter was going to be fine. I so badly wanted to hear a word of hope from an expert.

Months later, I traveled for hours to see my daughter's geneticist. By then, Katy's seizures had disappeared. at 18 months she had not only mastered sitting but began crawling as well. I was sure that she was on the quick path to recovery. Wanting to hear good news from an expert, I asked her geneticist what he expected of her development into adulthood.

He told me that we should make sure she went all the way through high school and then had her pursue a single skill so that she could eventually find a simple job. Among his suggestions were hotel cleaning and fast food chains. After all, according to him, she was never going to have a high IQ. I told the doctor that I wanted much more for her, to which he replied -

"Well, the way I see it is: somebody's gotta flip my burger."


I went home feeling defeated and devastated. I screamed. I cried. I prayed...

Then, I dusted myself off and moved forward. In my time of grief I made some conclusions. The doctor's were simply doing their job. Now I needed to do mine. Katy was MY daughter, not theirs. Conclusions about her destiny are better left in the faith of a loving parent.

As many of my readers know, Katy has beat out many odds and is on her path to conquer all of her giants. But now I work in a special ed unit for a public school, and I see parent's devastation very often. I see their hearts crushed as an "expert" labels their child with mental retardation, or any other destiny robbing title. I watch how the parent pins his hopes and fears on the words of these licenced clinicians and it breaks my heart.

Because I can relate.

If I could write a letter to every physician, doctor, therapist and any other person relevant to a child's medical files I would say this:

Dear Doctor,

Finding out that my innocent child has been "unfairly" robbed of her future is a devastating experience. I am grieving, and looking for someone higher than me to validate my hopes and dreams. In the middle of my darkest moments, I may turn to you yearning to hear a word of hope. If I should ever ask you what the future holds for my baby, this is what I wish you would say:

"The fight of faith is an individual one. I am a doctor and you are a mother. My job is to assess and diagnose your child. I can't change what I see, but I can encourage to to always hope and believe that the best is yet to come. I am here to help you find a treatment or a cure, but the bulk of the work is going to land on your shoulders. It is up to you to decide how much, how far, and how hard you will run for the sake of your child. There are countless stories of diagnoses turned over by people who stood in faith and worked with their physicians. I invite you to team up with me in the fight for your child. As long as there is life, there is hope. I am here to serve you."

I understand that as a doctor you must keep your professional distance, and I imagine that is very hard. I know that what I am asking for may not be entirely possible. If that is the case, I just want you to encourage me to hope, because if I don't- who will?



Marthavmuffin said...

I can't believe that Dr said something so heartless! I hope you called him on it. Big dumb Ego filled jerk. And I wanted to say more, but I know you are a Godly woman.

Your post had me in tears. Your family is in my prayers.

Gamaliela Tan said...

Todo estas duras experiencias han forjado quien es Michelle Hays hoy... La mama que Kathy necesita.

Patyrish said...

I've been away for a while and thought I would check in on you. I read this with tears streaming down my face nodding my head. I can still hear the words "severe mental retardation" ringing in my ears like it was yesterday...although now it's been nearly six years ago.

love u girl

Em said...

That letter should be required reading for all graduating doctors. Honest to goodness - no one should understimate the power of a mama.

(Sorry for being a bad lurker - your feedburner kills my link!!!)

Short Stuff said...

love your letter to the doctor(s). It needs to be published in a medical journal or become required reading before anyone can become a doctor.

Anonymous said...

Good day, sun shines!
There have been times of hardship when I didn't know about opportunities of getting high yields on investments. I was a dump and downright pessimistic person.
I have never thought that there weren't any need in large starting capital.
Now, I feel good, I started to get real income.
It gets down to select a correct partner who utilizes your money in a right way - that is incorporate it in real deals, parts and divides the profit with me.

You can get interested, if there are such firms? I have to answer the truth, YES, there are. Please get to know about one of them: [url=]Online Investment Blog[/url]

wsxwhx661 said...

情色成人網站 -
情色成人論壇 -
18情色成人網 -
台灣18情色成人 -
AV情色成人網 -
情色成人圖片 -
情色成人聊天室 -
18禁情色成人影音 -
18情色成人 -
情色成人短片 -
卡通情色成人網 -
小瓢蟲情色成人動畫 -
情色成人娛樂 -
愛愛情色成人貼片區 -
69情色成人無碼 -
情色成人貼片 -
A383情色成人影音城 -
免費情色成人圖片 -
情色成人天下淫書 -
情色成人動畫 -
嘟嘟情色成人貼圖 -
免費下載情色成人短片 -
嘟嘟情色成人網站 -
十八禁情色成人卡漫 -
金瓶梅情色成人網 -
免費情色成人短片 -
情色成人哈啦聊天室 -
免費情色成人影片 -
台灣十八情色成人網 -
熊貓情色成人 -
情色成人自拍 -
情色成人小遊戲 -
台灣情色成人貼圖 -
情色成人黃色笑話 -
小弟弟情色成人娛樂網 -
免費情色成人小說 -
情色成人文章 -
情色成人18禁 -
免費18禁情色成人圖片 -
情色成人聊天 -

Anonymous said...

Hello everyone!
I would like to burn a theme at here. There is such a nicey, called HYIP, or High Yield Investment Program. It reminds of financial piramyde, but in rare cases one may happen to meet a company that really pays up to 2% daily not on invested money, but from real profits.

For quite a long time, I make money with the help of these programs.
I don't have problems with money now, but there are heights that must be conquered . I make 2G daily, and I started with funny 500 bucks.
Right now, I managed to catch a guaranteed variant to make a sharp rise . Visit my web site to get additional info. [url=]Online Investment Blog[/url]

オテモヤン said...


maybe said...

I'm appreciate your writing skill.Please keep on working hard.^^

somebody said...























吳宗憲Steven said...

cool!very creative!avdvd,色情遊戲,情色貼圖,女優,偷拍,情色視訊,愛情小說,85cc成人片,成人貼圖站,成人論壇,080聊天室,080苗栗人聊天室,免費a片,視訊美女,視訊做愛,免費視訊,伊莉討論區,sogo論壇,台灣論壇,plus論壇,維克斯論壇,情色論壇,性感影片,正妹,走光,色遊戲,情色自拍,kk俱樂部,好玩遊戲,免費遊戲,貼圖區,好玩遊戲區,中部人聊天室,情色視訊聊天室,聊天室ut,成人遊戲,免費成人影片,成人光碟,情色遊戲,情色a片,情色網,性愛自拍,美女寫真,亂倫,戀愛ING,免費視訊聊天,視訊聊天,成人短片,美女交友,美女遊戲,18禁,三級片,自拍,後宮電影院,85cc,免費影片,線上遊戲,色情遊戲,情色

日月神教-向左使 said...