So here is my Crazy Weekend Saga
Episode 2: Stuck in the Mud
I hear a lot of people complaining about it still being cold where they live. I dont get it. Here in south Texas, I've been wearing flip flops since February. Its always scorching hot, and we have longed for a cold, stormy day.
If only it wouldn't have come on our picnic...
We decided to have a church picnic at a ranch in the middle of nowhere. Im serious. Its so far from civilization that we were greeted by vultures munching on deer remains. I know you're wondering why the heck we would pick that spot, and I actually have an answer for you:
Its somebody else's property.
No, really. A friend of ours bought the property to build a house and in the meantime, we decided to go out there and break in the land with a cool barbeque and some horse back riding.
We were having a merry ol' time when in true Texas nature- a storm blew in out of nowhere. I had to pee too, but I was totally avoiding the outhouse. Especially now. It began to pour on the tables, the horses and even on the barbeque. We lingered for a while, hoping that it would die down, but after a little more than an hour, we decided it was probably not going to.
I hoped and prayed to make it home to use the bathroom, but as we drove down the expressway, we were startled by a loud clanking sound.
I turned to Isaac in a panic, "You think its something bad?"
"Nah, its nothing"
He kept his cool. But I remember that he acted the same way when our truck was stolen off the mall parking lot.
FLASH BACK SEQUENCE:
"Hey Honey! I just bought my shoes... um... listen, you didn't come by to pick up our car by any chance?"
"Me? Pick up the car at the mall? No. Why?"
"oh, no reason. Really, dont worry."
"Isaac, tell me whats going on!"
"Oh, nothing. Its nothing at all... I'll see you later, ok?"
END FLASHBACK SEQUENCE
So now when he says "its nothing," I know its not nothing. Its something. I wasn't buying into the fake coolness this time. The dead give away was when he pulled over on the frontage road.
Knowing something had probably happened, I jumped out of the car to see.
It was a tire. It had blown out, and now we were going to have to change it in the pouring rain. Isaac got the jack and the spare and got to work. I stood next to him and helped him. My crucial job was bolt keeping. I was a very good bolt keeper too. Every time Isaac handed me a bolt, I placed it neatly on the muddy ground.
After what seemed an eternity, a pizza delivery guy pulled over and asked if we needed any help. We were grateful that out the dozens of cars that splashed us on the way by, one had the kindness to offer assistance. Nevertheless, we were almost finished. We thanked him and he drove off. Not thirty seconds later, Isaac grabbed the spare and pushed it into place
The whole car leaned sideways. The jack had busted and was tipping the car!
"Michelle! The Bolts! HURRY!"
I handed a mud covered bolt to Isaac, who barked at me for letting them get that way.
"Help me screw the bolts in!" he practically shouted in frustration
Our fingers kept slipping and sliding. We were up to our ankles in mud. Our hair was dripping with water, and God only knew how much time we had left to get the tire on. In a frenzy, we struggled and struggled- but eventually, the bolts were safely screwed on. Isaac had tried to wind the windy thing to get the Jack down, but it was totally busted. Jammed and stuck under our tipping car. I cursed myself for letting the pizza boy get away.
"Ok. Now I need you to drive the car a few inches forward," Isaac said "we need to get the car off this Jack."
I stared at him in disbelief. It was a joke, right? A really bad joke...
Nope. He was serious. After much protesting, Isaac finally convinced me that there was no other way. He would hide behind a column for safety (in case the Jack flew) and would tell me when to stop the car. With trembling hands I drove the scariest three inches of my life.
It was off! The Jack was off! We we're saaaaaaaafe! And somehow, my bladder still held on, for dignity's sake. I have peed all over myself before, but that's another story- for another blog.