THE CONDOM INCIDENT (Crude, I know)
I was taking Katy out for a walk in front of the house. We live in a new neighborhood so there are never any cars driving down the street. Its nice to just stroll down the street at leisure, and we do it quite often. During our walks I like to point out some things in nature for Katy to discover. Some of her favorites are purple wild flowers and extra long blades of grass. Often, we throw rocks and on a lucky day we even find a frog!
I cant recall what it was that intrigued me so deeply, but I was staring for a good half a minute in total abandon. I glanced at Katy who was about ten feet away- in her own little world of intrigue. She crouched and poked and pulled at something down on the floor.
"How cute," I thought. "She's so absorbed..."
But then I remembered that from time to time there are dead frogs on our street. I decided to check out the object of her curiosity, just to make sure all was well. You can imagine my horror as I discovered that she was not playing with flowers or rocks, but a dirty, old, used condom!
AAAAAACK!!! Gag me with a pitch fork!
In a panic, I began to wipe her fingers with my saliva. First, I licked my hands and then I tried to wipe away as much as I could. I continued, washing our hands in my saliva when I realized that I had not planed this through very well. By the time I realized what I was doing, I had stuck my dirty hands in my mouth three or four times!!!
Whisking Katy up on my shoulders I hurried home for a proper sanitation, spitting all the way home.
Good thing I dont have neighbors.