Monday, June 23, 2008

That's one sick little monkey

Look at this monkey:



Does he look well to you?

Well, he wasn't. One of his beady eyes was swollen shut. I don't know why, it just was. Plus, he wasn't in the best of moods. Look again:


You see? The little critter was miserable.

Nevertheless, he was on the job and he had to muster up a good attitude. After all, if it weren't for him, who would bring home the bacon? Or, bananas...

Whatever.

His job was to be the local celebrity in the beautiful beaches of Cancun. Not too shabby for an occupation. He would go from person to person (guided by his "boss") as he offered the tourists a chance to snap a picture with him.

His swollen eye, visible even from far away made my husband cringe. The noxious smell from his reeking fur filled our nostrills. Isaac swore that we would not be touching that disease ridden monkey. We were having a terrible week as it was. Katy had a misserable cold and the entire Hotel's air conditioner had broken down for two and a half days. The last thing we needed was to catch some crazy monkey illness.

But I had always wanted a picture with a monkey.



"Hi there!" The photographer greeted us "would you like a photo with the monkey?"


Katy begun to cry. Isaac shook his head vigorously. No was NO regardless of how much I insisted. Didn't I know that when Isaac put his foot down it was always final?







It ain't over till the wife nags, that's what I say.



So after much insistance we ended up snapping one of the very worst pictures in our family history. Look again. We're all sleep deprived, Katy is just wretched, Isaac is staying as far away from that monkey as is photographically possible and I'm just there. Smiling, like an idiot.


But what was really funny was what happened to the man next to us. He was just sitting in his lounge chair, keeping to himself.


"Hey there, fella! How'bout a picture with the monkey?"


The crabby man just shook his head "no"and turned away.


"C'mon! Its just a picture. No obligation."

"No. Thanks."

"Ah. It ain't so bad. Just take the picture!"

"No."

"Listen, if you dont like it its free. No obligation"

"No. I'm telling you- NO!"

"Whatcha gotta loose? No commitments. Just a picture."

"Fine! Gimmie the damn monkey," he burst.


The monkey exchange was made and just a second before the photo was taken I could hear the angry man give a loud groan followed by a curse. It turned out that the monkey had peed all over him. The photographer snapped the picture, snatched the monkey and darted off.


"Have a nice day!"


I could hear him yell as he ran.


Friday, June 13, 2008

The "invisible" exercise (what-a-crok!)

Do you do weird things when you're alone? I mean really, really weird things?

I was noticing how fat I was getting and remembering how hawt I was when I was a teenager (not that I realized it then), when I had a flashback. I remembered all the things that I would do to be in shape. I counted fat grams every day (always had less than 60), I counted my calories, and I took little opportunities through the day to tone up my muscles.

One of my excercises of choice was the "invisible" butt toning workout. Sitting through a sunday preaching can sometimes be boring to a teenager, so I often worked my gluts during church. I clenched my butt cheeks together and relaxed them.

clench.
relax.

clench.
relax.

clench.
relax.

It became my own little ritual. My sunday ritual. At the end of every sermon the pastor would make us all stand for the final words and then concluded with prayer. My glut workout continued. Did I mention that my parents liked to sit in the front row?

Yes. I was with them.

Just today, I was bored and found myself standing in the front of the mirror. Like I said, noticing how much weight I've gained. That's when I remembered about the "invisible Glut Excercise." I wondered how apparent it was and checked it out for myself.

OMG!!!

omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg!

I looked like a horney dog air humping!!!



Oh man, I don't know if I can live that one down!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Only me. But why?!


My husband will be producing his first solo CD this summer.  It's scheduled to be out on the fourth of July.  Today was his photo shoot.  I was so excited because he actually got a make over! 'Im not kidding- even down to the highlights.  

We had a professional fashion stylist (and a dear friend) guide him through every step of the way.  She helped Isaac shop, giving him tips according to his body type, personality and skin complexion.  Then, she took him to a hair stylist and had a whole new look set up for him.

I met them outside the salon and -I just gotta say- hubbalicious!  I thanked my friend for all her fashion expertise  as we walked towards the studio, which happened to be down the block.  Talking about highlights and celebrities, I began to critizise the stars (as if Im some source of professional oppinion).  Walking through the studio I turned my star bashing towards Paulina Rubio.

"She's so trashy"

"Why is she in the buissnes when she can't even sing?"

"Paulina Rubio- ugh."


On and on I went, like a total snob.  The photo shoot began, and Katy and I got to be in the first few photos (Isaac wrote a song for each of us and wants us to be in the CD as well).  Since it was Katy's nap time, I drove home early while Isaac finished snapping his shots.  

Back at home I decided to Google his photographer.  It turned out that he was a celebrity photographer and that his number one client was none other than- that's right, you guessed it-

 PAULINA RUBIO    




It seems that I am perpetually condemned to make a total and complete fool of myself.  I must have an automatic "stick my foot in my mouth" reflex.  I guess I should just shut up and never speak again.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Katy's first word!

Its funny how these things creep up on you.  I thought that the first step or the first word would have me shaking and bawling, but it all happens so slowly and so smoothly.  What sounded like babble suddenly took meaning. 

Im so proud of my little girl, and Im so proud to be her momma.


Saturday, June 7, 2008

Not Just Milestones- Historical Markers

Life is full of ups and downs. We move from day to day in familiar rythms, with a rough idea of what to expect. Once in a while, a day will pleasently surprise us and another will grieve us. Ocassionaly- and very seldomly- there are days that mark the history of our lives. These are days that are more than just special. They are epic.

Today was one of those days for me. Only those who know me and know my story will truly understand the significance of the story that I am to tell. If you dont know anything about me, dont worry- I've made sure to write it. Just backtrack through my blog.

I've just returned from Carls Jr.- a fast food restaurant. Inside, they have a little play center for children. Time after time, I have taken Katy there with the hope that she would catch on and play. At first, she would just stand there in a fright. She didn't get it. Children zipped past her, shouting and screaming in glee. She didnt even bother to look at them. All she ever did was stand still- waiting to be rescued from this strange place. After much coaching and insisting, she finally sat on the little floor and banged on it. I would get inside the toy and try to teach her to go up and down the slide. I guided her arms and legs through the toy, and she almost enjoyed it. As long as I moved her body through it. This went on for months and moths.

Today we revisited the place.

Katy took to the game almost immediately. She fluttered up the little steps and scooted all the way down the slide. Once, twice, three times- who knows- she kept going and going for half an hour. The children were no longer zipping by, she was keeping right up with them. Every now and then, she would stop a child and turn him to her face. It was almost as if she was saying

"wait a second... how come you're short like me?"

And to think that not even a month ago I was told by a psychologist that Katy could not engage in social play. This day marks a new era in Katy's life. It says to the world:

YES I CAN.