Friday, June 13, 2008

The "invisible" exercise (what-a-crok!)

Do you do weird things when you're alone? I mean really, really weird things?

I was noticing how fat I was getting and remembering how hawt I was when I was a teenager (not that I realized it then), when I had a flashback. I remembered all the things that I would do to be in shape. I counted fat grams every day (always had less than 60), I counted my calories, and I took little opportunities through the day to tone up my muscles.

One of my excercises of choice was the "invisible" butt toning workout. Sitting through a sunday preaching can sometimes be boring to a teenager, so I often worked my gluts during church. I clenched my butt cheeks together and relaxed them.

clench.
relax.

clench.
relax.

clench.
relax.

It became my own little ritual. My sunday ritual. At the end of every sermon the pastor would make us all stand for the final words and then concluded with prayer. My glut workout continued. Did I mention that my parents liked to sit in the front row?

Yes. I was with them.

Just today, I was bored and found myself standing in the front of the mirror. Like I said, noticing how much weight I've gained. That's when I remembered about the "invisible Glut Excercise." I wondered how apparent it was and checked it out for myself.

OMG!!!

omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg! omg!

I looked like a horney dog air humping!!!



Oh man, I don't know if I can live that one down!

4 comments:

Patyrish said...

I don't believe for a second that is your butt girl!

Wanna know why?

BECAUSE IT'S MINE!!

Kristy Tootle said...

That is SO funny....you are SO funny. I love reading your blog!

Wishing 4 One said...

You are waaay too funny!!

~Miss Nelson said...

This post has me cracking up. First of all, I tried the exercises to see what you were talking about and second.. the picture of the girl with the lime green pants.. too funny!!!