Does that sentence even make sense?
I don’t care.
Im becoming quite familiar with this feeling. It would be nice to say that it was new or that it was a rare occurence, but its all too familiar. Regardless of how many times I go through this, it doesnt get any easier. My reactions are a little more tappered than before (thank God) but the overwhelming feeling of exaustion is still there.
Basically, Im so tired that I feel like Im about to short circuit. The other day, I finished feeding Katy and I walked up to the fridge with her empty plate and tried to stick it on the door like a magnet. I walk into rooms with no idea why I did, I start things I dont finish (like the two day old laundry left wet in the washing machine), I feel shaky, queezy, and weak.
Before you thing that Im drowning in a glass of water (I know, I only have ONE kid), let me tell you about why I have trouble catching up.
We’re fixing to have a conference with an estimated 3,000 people turnout. Now, this is a very exciting thing. Believe it or not (and I know many wont- but that's their loss) a lot of miracles are manifesting (were a christian church). The miracles are many, but some of the most amazing have been the healing of a down syndrome little girl (even her facial features have changed) and the RESURRECTION of a dead man! He had injested wolf poison at a farm.
As you can see, this conference is a big deal, because we are going to minister to people who will come together from all over the world in a despearate search for God. My husband is part of the administrative team, plus he is holding a small concert. That means he’s swamped. Which means he’s not able to help me very much.
Ive been asked to make a ten minute documentary style video for this conference, and that is one of the big reasons why Im tired. With very little babysitting help, I find myself working afterhours trying to gather all my material together (believe it or not, a ten minute documentary is a mountain of work. Ask anybody in the field). Honestly, I dont know if I will be able to turn this documentary in on time. Ive decided that Im going to give it my very bestest shot, but I can't do more than that. This, in turn, leaves my housework to the very end. Actually, it just leaves it. Sitting there. Waaaaaaiting for me....
There is no corner of my house which doesn't scream
I NEED ATTENTION!!!
Over the next few days, I will be recieving ten guests in my house. All of them are from different parts of the world, and I will probably be needed to help around. Im not complaining. Ive been alone before. When Katy was diagnosed there wasn't a fly to talk to. With all the work that company adds, the joy it brings is worth the struggle.
But it still calls for strength.
Then, today my husband left with the car to the border, and its precicely this day that Katy has caught some kind of flu.
I’ve gone through all of this before, and the only thing that I can say to myself is "by this time, next week, it will all be over."
Sorry for boring you with my crap. Thanks for listening.
ps- the last documentary I made (in a rush and fury) is here:
(in two parts)
and here is a video of my awesome husband doing an interview with Marc Witt
I had very little time to put the documentary together, and it's in spanish. Had I been able to invest more time, it would have been more polished. Its also in spanish.