Friday, January 25, 2008

A Late Holiday Recap (so sue me)

A Most Humble Apology

I last left you with a barren promise of fun and entertainment at my expense as I divulged the family secrets of the past merry holiday celebrations. I suppose I got caught up in my own jollyness and forsook my promise to you all. For that, I apologize, and I offer a late recount of my most memorable events.

Lights, Camera, RIDICULE!

Every year, the church leadership staff makes a comedy show for the Ladies ministry. This year, the "script" was up to me. I losely refer to the skeleton of the show as a script because it was merely a story outline and character sketches that we brought to life impromptu on stage. We basically did a "talent" show where all of us sucked. I was the last contestant and I bribed the panel of judges who in turn, gave me the first place (and a million dollar check). My bribery was exposed and we all felt convicted to donate all our belongings to a poor orphanage in need of food (giving, the message of Christmas was sloppily tied to the skit).

The whole show lasted nearly an hour, and I have to say that it was really funny. Too bad most of you dont speak spanish, but Im still including my bit. Basically, my name was Bubbles, and I loved to bounce. I worked for a spring factory and I was going to blow all my prize money on jumparoos.

(if the embeded video wont show up, this is the link.)

(my mom in law's bit is also worth watching. Shes the "man" playing the drum solo)

A Remarkable Zit

A week after the icestorm, we arrived to Oklamoa to visit Katy's great grandmother (who is 93 or 96, I cant really remember). There was a Huge family party and everyone commuted from their cities and gathered for a merry pot luck lunch.

It was on this special occasion that the worlds biggest zit made its debut on my face. It was monsterous. Nothing could hide it. Well, I take it back. Maybe a fake beard, but I hadn't thought of that until now. The point is- my zit was embarrasing. We were getting through lunch just fine, but by some random chance of nefariousness, there happened to be a five second spot of silence.

"Hey Michelle!" Bea, the great grandma shouted across the table " What's that on your face?!"


"Uh. It's a zit" I said coyly.

"A WHAT!?"

"A zit."


Now everyone was looking at my face

"A ZIT!" another family member shouted so she could hear.

"You done gone popped it didn't you?" she pressed, "You shouldn't have. Now you've gone and made it all worse like."

Calling All Security: Baby on the Loose

Going through the airport with a non walking yet ever exploring baby is a CIRC DU SOLEIL juggling act. By saying this, I mean that its the creme de la creme, sophisticated, complicated and top of the line class act. I lugged my purse, diaper bag, carry on, stroller and baby all by myself. I nearly had a heart attack when the security personel told me

"fold up the stroller and take off your baby's shoes for inspection."

What the *@!??

No sooner had I loaded the stroller into their XRAY contraption that my baby had made her way two isles down the security lines. In other words, she was in check out 4 and I was in 1.

Did anyone help me? Did anyone stop her? Nooooooooo. I had to do it all by myslef. Seriously, what's it take to be nice? Will it give a rash or something?

ROTAVIRUS. Just What the Doctor Ordered

It was only three days before we were home free. We stayed at the house of a family friend. It was a little after midnight when I heard it. It was the sound of coughing, followed by gagging and finished by hurling. My baby girl had puked all over somebody elses blankets.

We were sharing a room with someone, so I didnt turn on the lights, but the hurling continued. Now I was drenched in it. And, I needed new sheets. Where would I get them? Changing Katy's PJs, I put her back in her bed which was now lined with my blankets. I would just have to do without any for the rest of the night so that she could be warm.

A few hours later, she threw up again. Now, there were no blankets for anybody and only one change of clothes. All our noise woke her grandma up. She was very helfpful. She got us clean bedding and took katy for a while.

The rotavirus continued for the duration of the trip, but was over as soon as we got home, making it an even sweeter